Drunk Humor

I had a foot massage tonight and it was especially ouchy which left me feeling not so creative with what to post. My friend Matt emailed me this joke tonight. It made me laugh out loud so I thought I'd pass it on.

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Mike wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's get together Party. Mike is not normally a mixed drinks drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Mike had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And next to them a single red rose!! Mike sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror.

Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick:

'Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling!

Love, Kim'

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, fresh orange juice and the morning newspaper. The kids are also at the table, eating. Mike asks, 'Kids... What happened last Night?'

'Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.

Confused, he asked them, 'So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??'

They reply, 'Oh THAT... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone, I'm married!!'

Broken Coffee Table $239.99
Hot Breakfast $4.20
Two Aspirins $.38

Saying the right thing, at the right time. . PRICELESS

Feel like I've been through the ringer. Oh wait, I have!

I woke up this morning feeling like I'd been kinda beat up, big surprise there. I had a chiropractic appointment scheduled as a follow-up to my fall in the shower last Saturday. Hoo, did I need it, all through my shoulders and neck felt clenched up. Dr Hobbs, of Accident Recovery Center, worked to loosen up some of the muscles before trying to make any adjustments. It's always nice to snapped around, especially when it's so needed. I've got another appointment Friday, too.

I went to work after my adjustment, the bus ride was a little painful, my back was really acting up now. Once at the office I was just feeling yucky, pulled muscles, back ache, and very tired. I finished up a little bit of stuff and then headed for home and a good nap. The dogs were happy to see me home early. They are always happy to see me, they're good like that.

After a quick potty trip Llelo was expecting to take a nap with me. It was funny to see, you could tell he was waiting, waiting, are we going to nap now? I put on some pjs and climbed into bed, Llelo hopped up and settled in next to me. I asked if he wanted to get under the covers and he got up and moved around so I could lift the covers over him. Llelo loves to spoon/snuggle even more so when we snuggle under the covers. What elevates it to utter bliss status is when he can snug his nose under my neck, too. He settled right in and headed off to dreamland! We napped for a good three hours, it was delightful.

In the evening I had my regular massage appointment with Carmen. I had told her about my shower fall so she was already planning to spend some extra time working on my back. After hearing about my huli adventures last night she decided to spend the majority of the appointment on my back and shoulders. I could feel the knots melting away, mmm hurts so good. She ended up spending about 5 minutes on my feet, she couldn't leave them untouched, she just couldn't.

Here's hoping my body feels better tomorrow. I think practice Thursday night will be very gentle.