A Period of Darkness

I had a good, hard paddle with the 50+ guys Tuesday night, just over 9 miles. It was just four of us, Doug, Ed, me, and Clem steering. Another beautiful night, it was still light when we slipped the boat into the water. And for a surprisingly long time afterward parts of the sky seemed to remain illuminated as if from some other worldly light, back lit almost.

We went over to Kirkland as we did last week and then south towards the 520 bridge. It was down near the bridge just as we were beginning to turn back towards home that I was hit with the realization that it was this time last year that I last saw my mother alive, was really able to interact with her. It was really hard to keep paddling, I was barely able to keep count and call the changes while the tears streamed down my face and the ache of grief clenched my heart. I did keep paddling and with only one exception was able to keep calling the changes. That one time Ed, sitting directly in front of me, was the only one who heard me and he called the change again so the others would hear it. A while later, perhaps 5 minutes or so, the wind we created by paddling so hard had dried my tears and my grief powered down some for the time being.

We finished our paddle, got the boat put away and I felt as though I'd gone much further than our 9.1 miles. It was definitely time to go home, shower up, eat supper, go to bed early. If that night is any indication I guess I can expect the next month to be an emotional roller coaster.

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Our Wednesday night paddle was a good workout. We had a full boat, a nice change for a Wednesday night. We sat Minnie, Ernie, Nancy, me, Dave, and Neil steering. Nearly 15 minutes into the workout Alan cruised up alongside in his spiffy new OC1 and gave us some coaching tips. I love being coached, I want to improve and being left to my own devices so much of the time I'm not sure whether I'm developing bad habits that need to be broken.

On the left side I was feeling really good, smooth, rotating properly, entering and exiting the water nicely. On the right side, not so much. My timing was good, it just didn't feel as good on the right, it didn't have the same flow as the left side. I was having to think about it more. I think that was my problem. I need to work the right side to the point where it just happens, without having to think about it. Alan was saying with outrigger it's 90% mental and the other half is physical. I think I've got some work to do...